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Sunday, May 31, 2009

PJ Sleepover!

On Friday, I hosted a PJ Sleepover at my house for my group of Laurels (I am the advisor). I know what you're thinking - "She has no daughters of her own, she has no sisters, what the CRAP is she thinking having a sleepover with a bunch of girls??!!!" And I would have to agree.

But it didn't turn out too bad. At various points of the evening, I had six of my seven girls there, plus the Young Women President. The slacker seventh girl kept making excuses and bailing on us. We'll get revenge on her - never fear (although she should....)

Before she had to leave, Rhylee was able to pass a couple things off, and make plans to finish other goals, as well. She's such a cute girl! We were all bummed that she couldn't stay with us.

Staying at my house overnight were four of my girls, plus the President. That night, we accomplished sewing a darling apron, modeled by the seamstress herself Brittney. Notice, if you will, the double-sided nature of the apron, for more versatile, reversible wear! With this task done, Britt can mark off one of her requirements.



And our fearless leader Melode showing her support for the accomplishment, of course...



With the teaming up of Lizzie and Kenzie, Lizzie was able to complete all her requirements to receive the Young Womanhood Recognition - yeah Lizzie! Kenzie was able to mark off a couple of her requirements, too. Great teamwork, girls! Unfortunately, Kenzie had to leave before I took any pictures (spaz me forgot about the camera I set on the counter specifically to document the night until after two of the girls left - doh!) so I don't have a picture of Kenzie and Lizzie together working. But work they did, believe you me!

At about quarter to twelve that night, the four girls that were left decided to go over to the high school and walk a couple laps for the Relay for Life (that I was supposed to be walking at for my work, but couldn't because of the sleepover). The other, and main, purpose of going over there was to try to retrieve our missing girl, Danielle, as she said she would be there until 12 or 1. She wasn't there, of course, but we walked a combined total 6.5 miles, and I was able to check in at my work's tent, and show them all the reinforcements I brought with me. Yeah for Relay for Life, and for continuing to give people hope for a cure! And especially hooray for my girls, wanting to walk in support of it, and for indulging me in pictures and chatting with some of my co-workers. Love my girls!

Lastly, to prove we survived the night, I had my husband take a picture of us all Saturday morning, before we at the donuts and drank the OJ I bought for breakfast. Aren't we all cute? In honor of being the "old lady" advisor, I wore curlers.



From left to right, it's Brittney, Mattie, Kayla, me, Melode, and Lizzie. Smashingly sexy women at 8 AM!!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

MMB Giveaway!



Hello all! I wanted to tell you about a wonderful giveaway sponsered by the Mormon Mommmy Blogs. Just head over here to see what you can win!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Day 15 of Stinky Body Gas

Rounding up the "E" farts is the "important" one....



A very loud clear fart by a very important person is an Executive Fart. It is either sharp or flat, somewhat off key, but otherwise a very business-like fart. No nonsense about it. But no one is supposed to notice. Particularly the farter. If you do not laugh at the Executive Fart this is either because you are scared of the person who farted or because the fart is so gross. Common with very important people.


Although not "executives", I experience this fart quite often at work. Mostly from older customers who either can't tell they're farting, or don't care that they do. It can be quite smelly!

On the other hand, I am guilty of doing it at work too, and blaming it on bad produce or rank meat. Gotta love it!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Last Pay It Forward Gift

So to those who have been following the progress (I know, you don't really exist, and this is just for my posterity....) I have completed the second Pay It Forward gift, which is awarded to my friend Korbi. I'll have to take it to her after its washed, but them I'm done!



If you zoom in, you can see that I outlined the bears with the same pink thread I "tied" it with.

Now, if only Laurel would remember I entered HER pay it forward.....

Ice Mints

Okay, I hope this works, and everyone can see it. My friend April sent me this little video, in honor of the "fart" posts I've been doing. I love it! You're the best, Ape^3! So even though I'll be posting in non-alphabetical order, I'll risk it, because I don't want to risk messing up the post by trying to publish on the right day...
video

Dove Visibly Smooth



So a while back, I entered my blog information on the Dove website, to get a chance to sample their new deodorant, Dove Visibly Smooth.

A week or two later, I receive a box in the mail from Dove, and I was like "what's this?" Inside there was a sample of the new deodorant. I started trying it the next day.



It took me a couple days to get used to it, but it really works! My hair grows slower, and I have less stubble longer. Love it love it love it!

To learn more about it, go here to Dove's website, or here to their Facebook page.

If you live by me, I've got several coupons left, if you want to buy it and try it out. Just let me know.

Day 14 of Stinky Body Gas

Today's stinklamation is all about punctuation!!!!



This is a punctuation fart. Timing is the whole thing. The farter, or someone, must be speaking. For instance, the speaker will say, "Ah, shut up!" and then someone will fart a loud sharp fart. This is a true Exclamation Fart. If the speaker is also the farter he may delay his fart until the right moment and then force it for all he is worth. If it works it is still a true Exclamation Fart, although more often than not it is an accident and for this reason rare.


On a side note, I have a funny story about this particular fart. Back when my husband and I were dating, my husband would "deploy" this fart without knowing its true name. It became a regular occurence that either right before or right after he told me he loved me, he would fart. I was, of course, at first offended. Now we laugh about it, and try to fart right before or after saying "I love you!"

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Happy Teeth

I keep forgetting to post this from last week. And it is definitely something to celebrate!



Last Thursday, my boys and I all had checkups at the dentist. All four of us made it out of there without any cavities. Phew! Dodged that bullet!

Then Doane went in for his checkup on Friday. I couldn't ask him until Saturday (because I was working), but he made it out of there without any cavities, too!

Now, it's not such a huge accomplishment for Doane to not have cavities, and maybe even Jacob and Dean, and occasionally Patrick. But for me not to have any cavities along WITH all the guys is stupendous!

I just wanted to have it on record somewhere that I actually went to the dentist and had a clean bill of health, and all my kids and husband did, too! What an accomplishment!

Day 13 of Stinky Body Gas



On this Wednesday of May, I bring you the next section of letter-named farts. It's very proper and upright, so no laughing!




A very classy fart. The sound alone distinguishes it from all other farts. There are some who will say that this is a put-on accent, but that is silly. When it comes to farting no one goes around sounding like an Englishman. It happens or it doesn't. The sound it makes is, thip. Sometimes it will go thip thip. It is unmistakable. It is probably as proper and upper class as a fart can get.


Remember, no laughing! This is a very proper fart people!!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 12

To round up the "D" fart series, I give you....



Some people might want to put this fart under the general heading of Musical Farts (see under M) but I for one have never considered the drum very much of a musical instrument. It is a multiple noted fart of the same tone or pitch farted very fast. It sounds more like a real drum roll when now and then the farter happens to throw in a rim shot at the end, but you can not expect this every time. It should in no way be confused with the Chinese Firecracker Fart, which is by far the more colorful of the two, although the Drum Roll Fart is much more rare.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 11





It is necessary for a dog to be around for this fart to occur. People who fart and blame it on the dog when there is no dog within miles are making a travesty of the whole fart identifcation business, which is difficult enough as it is. This is always a silent fart but one with an odor you could blame on a dog that was dead. The farter tries to blame it on the dog. He will even go so far as to run the dog out of the house. Do not be fooled. When a dog farts it will usually grunt too. It may even get up and walk away. This is what you should do when you have identified a Dog Did It Fart. They are vile.


It's soooo nice to have a dog around to blame the smellies on, but then again, when she actually does fart, you had better run for the proverbial hills, because MAN does it stink!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 10

In honor of Sunday, I've got another church-related post for ya, and we're now on the....

farts.



This is any loud fart in church. This fart was first called to my attention by my father. He probably read about it somewhere. For fart watchers who go to church, this is a good one to watch for as this is the only place it can be found.


Happy Mother's Day to all ya'll mothers out there! And happy birthday to my bro!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 9

The last of the "C" farts, here ya go....



The Crowd Fart is distinguished by its very potent odor, strong enough to make quite a few people look around. The trick here is not to identify the fart but the farter. This is almost impossible unless the farter panics and starts a fit of coughing or starts staring at the ceiling or the sky as though something up there fascinates him. In which case he is the one. Very common.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 8

We are still on "C", so here is today's installment....



This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause. Uncommon.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 7

Ladies and gents, we're still on the "C" farts, so here's another to enjoy!



The Celestial Fart
Not to be confused with the Did An Angel Speak Fart, which is simply any loud fart in church. The Celestial Fart is soft and delicate, surprising in a boy or an adult. It is probably the most shy of all farts and might be compared with the wood thrush, a very shy bird. It does not have the sly or cunning sound of the Whisper Fart. It is just a very small clear fart with no odor at all. Very rare.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 6

Guess what, loyal readers? We're now on to the....


fart portion of my posts.



Either a group one or a group two fart. Very tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is a desperation fart and not too common.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 5

So I can't find any more info on the copyright stuff for the book (it was published in 1984 - is there a statute of limitations on something that's 26 years old?), I think I'll continue on with my fart posts....We're still on the "B" farts, so here is today's enlightening post!




A silent fart identified by odor alone. Usually an adult fart, occurring while the adult is driving a car or has a front seat passenger who farts. The Burning Brakes Fart actually does smell a little like burning brakes and seems to hang around longer than most farts. Which gives whoever farted a chance to make a big show of checking to see if the emergency brake has been left on. When he finds it hasn't you know who farted. A common automobile fart.


And by the way, Happy Cinco de Mayo! May all your farts today smell like burning brakes!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 4



Like the great bald eagle, this fart is pretty well described just by its name. This can either be a group one or a group two fart and can occur just about anywhere. I heard it one time, a group two identification, in a crowded high school auditorium one night, right in that silence that happens when a room full of people has stopped singing the Star Spangled Banner and sat down. It came from the back. There was not a soul in that room that missed it. A fart like that can be impressive.
The most diagnostic characteristic of the Biggest Fart In The World is its size. Fart freaks who go around showing off, farting like popcorn machines and making faces before they fart or asking you to pull their finger and then they fart, never have what it takes for this one, which is rare even among your most serious farters.


This may be my last fart post for a while, as I need to get copyright info on it, if necessary. It's been bugging me for a couple days, and I get freaked out that some unknown person will come swooping down on me with a ginormous fine. So stay tuned....

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Stinky Body Gas Post 3

Today starts the second letter posts, coming to you from the letter.....




People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like farts don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special.
It is the only fart you can see!
What you see is the bubble or bubbles.
The Bathtub Fart can be either single or mulitple noted and fair of foul as to odor. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it.
Maybe there is akind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a buch of bubbles.
The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water and even mmore on the tub. If ti is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects. Whille one of the new thing ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing.
But either way, as long as the water is deep enough, whatever the sound, up comes the bubble or bubbles and you have to be quick but glance back over your shoulder and you have seen it, the Bathtuyb Fart, the most positively identifiable fart known to man.
It is a common fart and strictly group one unless you are a kid still young enough to take baths with your friends.


I thought this was a good post for Sunday, since there will be many kids taking a bath to get ready for church. Now they can have fun trying to "see" a fart!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Day 2 of Stinky Body Gas



Here we are on day two of my fart post series. Let me introduce you to....


This is any fart that gets its power more from being amplified than from the fart itself. A metal porch swing will amplify a fart every time. So will a plywood table, an empty fifty gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are strong enough to sit on. Any fart made a great deal louder than it really is through being amplified in this way can be called an Amplified Fart. These are common farts under the right conditions.

Friday, May 1, 2009

May Day!!!

I've been percolating this idea for about a week or so, but wanted to wait until May Day to start it.

As some of you know, I have a kind of sick sense of humor.....sorry if that shocks some of you.....not really, though! Anywho, when I was in high school, I went into a Hallmark store with my friend Sara. I was perusing their store, and came across a book that intrigued me. I started to read it, and by the time I was a couple pages in, I was laughing so hard I was crying, and my friend came rushing over to see what was going on. So of course I had to buy THE FART BOOK.



For today's May Day post, we'll start off with an "A" fart....




This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The Alarm Fart, however, is rare.


In case I forgot to mention it, my Fart Book has an A-Z listing of farts and their meanings. Stay tuned for more!




This book is written by Donald Wetzel, illustrated by Martin Riskin, and published by Ivory Tower Publishing Company, Inc., copyright 1983.